In most healthcare environments the presence of a supportive friend or family member is immensely helpful. But who should it be ideally? You need someone who cares about you but is not as emotionally involved as you. You need someone who will sit quietly with you listening to what is said. It helps if this companion has a little knowledge of medical matters, but this is not essential. They need however to be reasonably intelligent and calm. Ideally your companion should note down the essentials and any difficult words or names. The ‘rules of engagement’ also need to be clarified before you go in. What you do not need is someone who behaves as your advocate and dominates the consultation. This can be ‘infantilizing’, reducing your personal freedom of action. It is essential that you, the patient, are in control of your own information. It is for you to ask what you want to know if you can, and to speak for yourself. If your courage fails and you seem to miss out something important, it is then that your advocate, with your permission, should speak up. This will need to have been discussed before you go into the consultation.
Dr E Macdonald FRCR MA